Helpful Tips for New Dads
Here are some tips that new dads may find helpful. You may already have your go-to comfort and care strategies that work for you and your family.
Couple time
It is important to spend quality time alone a couple of times a week. Simple things like having coffee together or watching a television show while the baby sleeps can be helpful.
If you can afford a cleaning lady and/or a babysitter, or get support from family, friends, or a neighbour, this will offer you some time escape for a walk, short drive, or a fast bite at your favourite spot. That shared time will feel refreshing and bring you closer.
“Me” time
As important it is to have couple time, it’s equally important to have your personal time and space to unwind.
Take time hang out with your buddies, watch a game, go to the gym, or get back into a hobby are all good ways to recharge.
Your health
As daunting as it to deal and cope with all the changes of a newborn, it is easy to neglect our own health. More than ever, parents need to be healthy for themselves so that they can be present for their family.
It is important to eat nutritional foods, get exercise, get some rest when you can, and not resort to much comfort food or even neglecting to eat at all.
Be gentle with yourself
Being a first-time father is a huge transition and can come with conflicting emotions and fears, which can bring about guilty feelings. It’s important to remember that you are not alone, as many men experience the same issues.
Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t get everything done. Instead, focus on your daily accomplishments. The lack of sleep that all parents experience with a newborn is a common occurrence but remember, it is temporary. Breathe …
Shared parenting
It may seem intimidating and scary to handle a tiny newborn, but they are more resilient than you may think. The only way to get comfortable is to be proactive and get to it.
With repeated practice, you will be a natural, just like mom. Helping with diaper changes, bathing, and soothing will help you to bond better with your child. And who knows, it may even earn you brownie points with your partner.
Be mindful of your partner
Just like you, your mate is dealing with physical, psychological, and emotional challenges, and she may not be as receptive to you as before giving birth.
She undoubtably will be experiencing pain and tenderness after the birth of your child.
With respect to sexual intimacy, as a new father yourself, you too may have noticed a decrease in your libido with the fatigue of late-night feedings and diaper changes.
Be gentle and patient with your partner and yourself; you are both going though big changes. With the huge physical and emotional changes, a woman endures, it can take up to three months after delivery for a woman to feel comfortable resuming sexual activity.
Be respectful of her feelings and let her express when she is ready to fully engage in sexuality intimacy. Kissing, cuddling, and messages are great ways to show each other affection and release tension.
Helpful Resources for New Dads in BC
Fatherhood is Forever https://www.fnha.ca/WellnessSite/WellnessDocuments/fatherhood-is-forever.pdf
BC Counsel for Families https://www.bccf.ca/program/test/
Fathering Circles Starting Up in Burnaby https://www.parentsupportbc.ca/fathering-circle-burnaby/
Daring Dad; Chilliwack Community Services https://www.comserv.bc.ca/daring-dads/
BC Fathers https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/