Intimate Partner Violence in Canada: How Counselling Can Help

Intimate Partner Violence in Canada

Intimate partner violence (IPV) in Canada is far more widespread than many realize – and the statistics tell a story that is both alarming and deeply human.

• 44% of women who have ever been in an intimate relationship report experiencing some form of abuse – physical, sexual, or psychological – by a partner since the age of 15. This means nearly half of women in Canada have endured harm in the relationships where they should have felt safest.
• Indigenous women experience IPV at rates three times higher than non-Indigenous women, reflecting the lasting impacts of systemic discrimination, colonial history, and intergenerational trauma.
• According to police services in Canada, in 2024, there were 349 victims of family violence per 100,000 population, and 356 victims of intimate partner violence per 100,000 population aged 12 and older.
• Emotional and psychological abuse is the most common form of IPV in Canada, yet it is frequently underreported because it can be invisible to outsiders, insidious in its effects, and devastating to mental health.

These numbers are not abstract. They represent mothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, and neighbours whose lives are impacted every day by fear, control, and harm.

IPV is not a distant issue – it happens in our homes, workplaces, schools, and communities.

Understanding these statistics is critical not only for awareness but also for prevention, support, and action. They underscore the urgent need for education, resources, and collective engagement to ensure that every Canadian has the right to a life free from intimate partner violence.

What Intimate Partner Violence Looks Like

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is not limited to physical harm. Many forms of abuse are subtle, insidious, and often build gradually over time, making it difficult for survivors, or those around them, to recognize the danger until it escalates.

Understanding these signs is crucial for prevention, support, and early intervention.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is often the most visible form of IPV, but it can escalate in severity and unpredictability. It includes hitting, restraining, throwing objects, blocking exits, damaging property, or threatening physical harm.

Real-life example:

Sexual Abuse or Coercion

Sexual abuse in an intimate relationship can include any unwanted or pressured sexual activity, threats related to intimacy, or coercion disguised as “obligation.” Consent is always required, and any form of sexual pressure within a relationship is abuse.

Real-life example:

Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse often leaves invisible scars. Signs include:

• Insults, put-downs, or degrading comments
• Gaslighting (making the survivor doubt their memory or perception)
• Blaming the survivor for the abuser’s behaviour
• Threats of self-harm if the survivor doesn’t comply
• Gradual destruction of self-esteem

Real-life example:

Coercive Control

Coercive control is a pattern of domination that can make survivors feel trapped and powerless. It includes:

• Monitoring phones, messages, or location
• Dictating financial decisions
• Isolating the survivor from friends and family
• Controlling major life choices
• Creating a constant environment of fear or unpredictability

Real-life example:

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse restricts independence and can make leaving an abusive relationship extremely difficult. It includes:

• Controlling bank accounts or access to money
• Sabotaging employment opportunities
• Withholding financial support

Real-life example:

How Friends and Family Can Help

If you’re worried that someone you care about might be experiencing intimate partner violence, you can play a life-changing role.

Survivors often feel isolated, ashamed, or afraid to speak out. Your compassion, patience, and informed support can make a profound difference.

1. Believe Them

Survivors may fear that others will dismiss their experiences or blame them. Even if their story is fragmented or unclear, your trust and validation matter.

Saying something as simple as “I believe you, and I’m here for you” can help break isolation and show them they’re not alone.

2. Listen Without Judgment

Avoid judgmental statements like: “Why don’t you just leave?”

Leaving an abusive relationship can be extremely complex and dangerous. Financial dependence, emotional manipulation, children, or fear of retaliation can make leaving impossible in the short term. Instead, listen actively, ask gentle questions, and let them share at their own pace.

Example:

3. Gently Express Concern

Use compassionate language that emphasizes care rather than control. Try phrases like:

Small expressions of concern can reassure survivors that support is available whenever they are ready.

4. Share Information About Canadian Resources

Providing trusted, accurate information can empower survivors to seek help safely. Examples include:

• Sheltersafe.ca – A map of shelters across Canada
• Kids Help Phone (24/7) – 1-800-668-6868
• Hope for Wellness Helpline (Indigenous peoples) – 1-855-242-3310
• Canada’s National Domestic Violence Hotline resources via 211.ca

Encourage survivors to explore these resources on their own terms, when they feel ready.

5. Offer Practical Help

Practical support can be transformative. Examples include:

Even small acts of practical assistance signal that they are not alone.

6. Prioritize Safety

Safety must always come first. Encourage survivors to create a safety plan that includes:

Never pressure someone to leave before they are ready. IPV survivors move on their own timeline, and what matters most is that they feel supported, empowered, and safe.

Friends and family can be a lifeline. Believing survivors, listening without judgment, providing information, and offering practical support can help them feel understood, regain control, and make safe choices.

How Therapy Helps Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence

Therapy can be a lifeline for survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV), offering a safe, nonjudgmental space to reclaim their voice, dignity, and sense of safety. Trained counsellors and therapists guide survivors through both immediate concerns and long-term healing, helping them rebuild their lives on their own terms.

Emotional Processing and Trauma Recovery

Survivors often carry deep-seated emotions—fear, shame, guilt, anger, confusion, or numbness—that can feel overwhelming. Therapy provides tools to process these emotions safely, validate lived experiences, and gradually reduce the emotional weight of trauma.

Example:

Understanding Abuse Dynamics

Many survivors struggle to recognize the patterns of abuse, especially when emotional or coercive control was involved. Therapy helps survivors understand the dynamics of IPV, validate their experiences, and differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviours.

Example:

Safety Planning and Decision Support

Leaving or managing an abusive relationship can be complex and dangerous. Therapists provide nonjudgmental guidance, helping survivors think through next steps safely—whether it’s leaving, setting boundaries, or staying while preparing a plan. Safety planning is personalized, flexible, and survivor-led, ensuring the survivor’s choices are respected.

Example:

Rebuilding Self-Worth

Abuse can erode confidence and self-esteem, leaving survivors questioning their value and identity. Therapy focuses on reconnecting survivors with their strengths, talents, and sense of self, helping them regain autonomy and resilience.

Example:

Support for Parents and Children

IPV affects not just survivors but their families. Therapy provides tools for parent-survivors to navigate conversations with children, manage feelings of guilt, and rebuild a stable environment. Children can benefit from age-appropriate support and guidance, breaking intergenerational cycles of abuse.

Example:

Long-Term Healing and Prevention

Therapy is not just about recovering from past abuse—it’s about building resilience for the future. Survivors learn to recognize healthy versus unhealthy patterns, establish boundaries, and cultivate relationships based on mutual respect and trust, reducing the risk of revictimization.

Example:

How Innova Counsellors Support Survivors of IPV

At Innova Therapy Inc., our counsellors offer a safe, non-judgemental space where women who have experienced intimate partner violence can feel seen, heard, and supported. We work at your pace, helping you rebuild safety, confidence, and a sense of control after trauma.

Our therapists use evidence-based, trauma-informed approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), narrative therapy, and mindfulness-based techniques. These therapies can help you understand the effects of abuse, reduce anxiety and self-blame, process difficult experiences, and reconnect with your strengths.

We can also support you with safety planning, boundary-setting, and accessing additional resources when needed.

Above all, we aim to create a counselling relationship grounded in compassion, privacy, and empowerment.

Trauma-Focused Counsellors for Survivors of Abuse