When Holidays Are Hard, Therapy Can Help

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Images of close families, meaningful traditions, and effortless happiness are everywhere, from social media to advertising to well-intentioned conversations with friends and coworkers.

Yet for many people, the holidays bring increased stress, emotional pain, and a profound sense of disconnection.

At Innova Therapy Inc., we frequently hear from individuals who feel confused, isolated, or even ashamed for struggling during a season that is “supposed” to feel happy. Some describe putting on a brave face at gatherings while feeling anxious or numb inside. Others notice a quiet heaviness that builds as the holidays approach, without fully understanding why.

Experiencing anxiety, sadness, grief, or overwhelm during the holidays is more common than many people realize. The emotional intensity of this time of year can magnify existing challenges, bring unresolved feelings to the surface, or highlight losses and changes that are otherwise easier to manage.

Acknowledging these feelings, rather than dismissing them, is an important first step toward caring for your mental and emotional wellbeing.

The holidays can be a difficult time for many people. But you do not have to go through it alone.

Why the Holidays Can Be Emotionally Challenging

The combination of heightened expectations, disrupted routines, and emotional reminders can make the holidays especially difficult. Some of the most common contributors to holiday stress and mental health challenges include:

Grief and Loss During the Holidays

Holidays often highlight who is missing. Someone who has recently lost a parent, partner, or friend may find that traditions feel painful rather than comforting. Even years after a loss, familiar rituals can stir grief in unexpected ways.

Example: A person attending a holiday dinner may find themselves overwhelmed when an empty chair reminds them of a loved one who once sat there. While others celebrate, they may feel pressure to hide their sadness.

Family Stress and Difficult Relationships

For many people, family gatherings bring up old dynamics, unresolved conflict, or feelings of being judged or misunderstood. Being around certain relatives can trigger anxiety or emotional shutdown, even if no one openly argues.

Example: An adult who has worked hard to establish boundaries may feel themselves reverting to old roles when visiting family, leading to frustration, guilt, or emotional exhaustion.

Loneliness and Isolation

Not everyone has family nearby, and some people feel disconnected even when surrounded by others. The holidays can intensify loneliness when social media and advertising emphasize togetherness.

For example: Someone living alone may notice the silence more acutely in the evenings, wondering why they feel so alone while others appear to be celebrating.

Financial Pressure and Holiday Expectations

The cost of gifts, travel, and social obligations can create significant stress. For individuals already managing financial strain, the pressure to participate can feel overwhelming.

For example: A parent may feel anxious about not being able to provide the type of holiday they believe their children expect, leading to feelings of shame or inadequacy.

Anxiety, Depression, and Seasonal Mental Health Changes

Existing mental health concerns such as anxiety or depression often intensify during the holidays. Shorter daylight hours, disrupted sleep, increased social demands, and reduced routine can all play a role. Read more about Seasonal Affective Disorder here.

Friends and Family Can Provide Support During the Holidays

Being there for your friends who are struggling during the holidays can make a big impact.

Support from friends and family can make a meaningful difference during the holiday season, especially when it is offered with empathy, patience, and without expectations about how someone should feel.

While you may not be able to take away a loved one’s pain, your presence and understanding can help them feel less alone.

Listen without minimizing or fixing
When someone shares that they are struggling, try to listen with curiosity and compassion rather than immediately offering advice or reassurance.

Statements like “It makes sense that this feels hard” can be far more supportive than attempts to cheer someone up or put a positive spin on their experience.

Respect boundaries and changing needs
The holidays can be emotionally and physically draining. A loved one may need to limit time at gatherings, skip certain traditions, or say no altogether.

Respecting these boundaries – without guilt or pressure – helps create a sense of safety and autonomy.

Offer flexible and low-pressure support
Support does not have to look like large gatherings or extended visits. A short walk, a quiet coffee, a phone call, or a one-on-one check-in can feel far more manageable and meaningful for someone who is overwhelmed.

Check in intentionally and consistently
People who are struggling often withdraw, which can increase feelings of isolation. Reaching out with a simple message – “I’m thinking of you and here if you’d like to talk” – can remind them they are cared for, even if they don’t respond right away.

Normalize mixed and complex emotions
Help your loved one understand that it is okay to feel joy, sadness, grief, resentment, or numbness – sometimes all at once. The holidays can bring up many emotions, and there is no “right” way to experience them.

Sometimes, the most supportive message is simply: “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Therapy Can Help with Holiday Stress and Emotional Wellbeing

Therapy provides a supportive, confidential space to explore difficult emotions that may surface during the holidays. At Innova Therapy Inc., our counsellors work with individuals to better understand their experiences and develop strategies that feel realistic and supportive.

Therapy can help by:

Supporting individuals coping with grief and loss during the holidays
Helping clients manage family stress and set healthy boundaries
Addressing holiday anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm
Reducing feelings of loneliness and increasing self-compassion
Challenging unrealistic expectations and creating more sustainable traditions

Additionally, rather than forcing positivity, therapy focuses on helping people feel grounded, validated, and equipped to care for themselves during emotionally demanding times.

You Are Not Alone This Holiday Season

If the holidays feel heavy, it does not mean you are doing something wrong. Many people struggle quietly, and support is available.

The therapists at Innova Therapy Inc. offer compassionate, evidence-based counselling to help individuals navigate holiday stress and mental health challenges, not just during the holiday season, but throughout the year.

Reaching out for support can be a powerful step toward feeling more understood, more regulated, and less alone.